Cast of Characters
You may need to use this little bit of info from time to time... there's a lot of characters in my life. I'm sure there will be many more to come, so here's an index of who is currently roaming through my life. Both "home" and in my second home, Hollywood, CA.
Hollywood Cast:
Gunslinger: My friend from high school, who happens to be a weapons handler and armorer for the movie industry who tends to bring his work home with him daily.
CBL: "Crazy Boss Lady". This is my friend, who also happens to be my boss in Hollywood. She's a bit of a lush (by her own description) and one hell of a sarcastic bitch (again, by her own description). You think I'm sarcastic? I've got NOTHING on her.
Princess: The counter girl at the shop in Hollywood who fell in love and married the Jewish money-machine that's nearly twice her age.
Shyboy: The cute and sweet Hispanic counter boy who now co-manages the shop with Princess.
TFT: The "Touchy Feely Tattooist". Sorry, but this guy gives me the creeps in a strange, but good way. He's just a big, silly dork. Sweet guy, but damn, what the hell... I DON'T want a hug, and get that goofy grin off your face!!!
Dollface: The sweet apprentice tattooist that has a heart of gold (and somehow puts up with TFTs shit everyday).
Man of Steel: The former piercing apprentice who is now the head piercer since I left. Amazingly, he's the first apprentice that I have FULL trust in. Oh yeah, and the fact that he took SIX 8g rings in his scrotum just days before I left gives him some serious huevos en sus cajones!
SBM: The "Studly Boss Man". Although he rarely graced us with his presence at the shop (he was always in the warehouse office), he made it known that HE was the man of the house. Yes, he's got the power and money, but his taste in women? NIL. OK, so they had plastic tits and faces, and they could at LEAST count to 10, but can't they have brains AND beauty?
GodsGift: This is the pretentious, sexually frustrated asshole that also happens to be one of SBMs right-hand-men at the warehouse. He's still a jerk and it gets worse when he gets drunk, which I might add is not only weekly, but sometimes daily.
SM: The wonderfully humorous "Sarcastic Mexican". I'm sure that CBL would probably call him "Sarcastic Bean", and so would he, but I just can't bring myself to do it. He's the other right-hand-man to SBM. Although we didn't talk much (at least to one another), he's great at bashing GodsGift. High 5 for that!
Fancypants: This flamboyantly gay man sells the greatest women's clothing on Melrose Ave. Not only that, but he wears it, too... 'specially when strutting to Madonna blasting on his flashing boombox.
SBP: "Starbucks Psychobilly". This is the super hot guy that came into our shop repeatedly and flirted with me while we talked about psychobilly shows in the area. I nearly threw up when he brought in his cousin, who said "Yeah, I'm thinking about a tattoo, but he's gotta wait until he turns 18". Sheesh. At least I got free coffee.
Propmaster: This is the crazy dreadlocked white boy that wears 6" moonboots and a kilt while working on movie and television production as a propmaster. The man is insane, and an awesome guy, too.
UHTG: "Uber-Hot Tattooed Guy" is one of Propmaster's good friends. We've never met in person, nor spoken on the phone, but we've had some hysterical convo online. Awesome dude. Probably a good thing we never met in person!
FE: "Former Employee" of the shop that randomly contacted me via MySpace one day. It was a complete coincidence... I didn't know him, he didn't know me, and neither of us knew where the other worked/had worked. Who knows WHAT he was looking for, seeing his GF online, I'm sure it was NOT me.
WOWG: "World of Warcraft Girl". This was my female roommate in Hollywood. The reason I call her this? Although she offered to "use the computer anytime", I got home after she did each evening, and even when I'd stay up until 3am, she'd STILL be online from before I got home, playing that damned game.
WOWB: "World of Warcraft Boy". This was WOWGs live-in boyfriend. They had met online and decided to move to California from New York and Michigan? What were they thinking? I guess they complete one another, because when SHE isn't online playing that asinine game, he was.
"Home" Cast:
Hubby: The ever-loving husband that daily puts up with not only my shit, but the kids' and everyone else in the world. He has a bit of social anxiety, and an anger management problem, but in the end, it can be looked past because of all the good things he brings to the world. Hubby has also worked with me at many of the jobs that we've worked. He refused to go to Hollywood though, so I missed him greatly and is the reason I came home.
Cryptkeeper: This is my former employee now-turned boss. I left for three months, and he opened his own shop. Now I'm working for him. He has a fondness for dead things, cemetaries, and horror toys.
Ghosthunter: Cryptkeeper's new wife. They are VERY newly-wed, and she has a fondness for very similar things. She also enjoys hanging out in cemetaries and haunted places looking for ghostly spirits.
PPQ: "Pregnant Prom Queen". No, she's not pregnant now, nor is she in high school, but this is Cryptkeeper's Ex. She's not that prissy prom queen type, she's more of that stupid-cheerleader-who-faked-pregnancy-to-get-her-man type. She LATER got pregnant... then cheated on Cryptkeeper with SEVERAL different men. Including at least one of his friends.
TheKid: The shop's newest addition. He's "sort of" an apprentice, but he had an apprenticeship prior to his coming to us. We may have to break him of some bad habits. I wonder if rolled up newspaper works with him?
Chef: Our friend, the 5-star chef, who happens to LOVE making us dinner. Damn, I need to wash his dishes more often. He makes me want to make him our houseboy so he can make me sinfully delicious food everyday.
Hitler: Hitler would be our "pet name" for my "loving" mother. She strives to make everyone's life around her MISERABLE so that hers feels better. What more does she want? We pay all of her bills, moved in with her to take care of her sorry ass, and try to NEVER set foot in her path (for fear of being turned to stone or taken away on a train). What have we done to deserve this. I might add, thankfully, I'm adopted.
ICHU: Our eldest son. He's 14. The initials stand for "I Can't Hear You". He has VERY selective hearing and will NOT hear rules or instructions. His excuse for everything? Either "I didn't know" or "I couldn't hear you".
Filmstrip: Our middle son. He's 12. He's also one hell of a film buff. He knows everything about every movie. He holds conversations with Gunslinger that no one else can even comprehend. He knows producers, years of film releases and re-releases, names of remakes, movie stars, stand-ins, extras, special effects, and more. I don't know where he learned it all, but he's even got his own IMDB page with his friend. They even make mini horror movies that are online already. I guess if I had to punish him for something, I'd have to take away his video camera and DVD collection.
Whiny: Our youngest son. He's 10. EVERY request is rebutted with a whine. Even if you ask him where he wants to go for dinner, instead of his answer being his favorite restaurant, it's a whine about where he DOESN'T want to go. Want some cheese with that?
Look@Me!: This is CryptKeeper and PPQ's daughter. Technically, since PPQ has pretty much been out of the picture (such a slacker), she should be considered CryptKeeper and GhostHunter's kiddo. Her name (obviously) comes from the fact that with every little thing she does, comes the remark "LOOK AT ME!!!"
Silence: This little boy is cute and sweet, but eerie. Also CryptKeeper and PPQ's child, I've seen nothing but quiet charm from him, but from what I've overheard with former preschool calling nearly everyday, and CryptKeeper having to run and get him, he's apparently pretty destructive. He should become a pro wrestler.
So ends my cast of characters for the time being... I'm certain, as I stated above, that there will be many more to come... but these are the "few" that I deal with daily in my ridiculous world.
Hollywood Cast:
Gunslinger: My friend from high school, who happens to be a weapons handler and armorer for the movie industry who tends to bring his work home with him daily.
CBL: "Crazy Boss Lady". This is my friend, who also happens to be my boss in Hollywood. She's a bit of a lush (by her own description) and one hell of a sarcastic bitch (again, by her own description). You think I'm sarcastic? I've got NOTHING on her.
Princess: The counter girl at the shop in Hollywood who fell in love and married the Jewish money-machine that's nearly twice her age.
Shyboy: The cute and sweet Hispanic counter boy who now co-manages the shop with Princess.
TFT: The "Touchy Feely Tattooist". Sorry, but this guy gives me the creeps in a strange, but good way. He's just a big, silly dork. Sweet guy, but damn, what the hell... I DON'T want a hug, and get that goofy grin off your face!!!
Dollface: The sweet apprentice tattooist that has a heart of gold (and somehow puts up with TFTs shit everyday).
Man of Steel: The former piercing apprentice who is now the head piercer since I left. Amazingly, he's the first apprentice that I have FULL trust in. Oh yeah, and the fact that he took SIX 8g rings in his scrotum just days before I left gives him some serious huevos en sus cajones!
SBM: The "Studly Boss Man". Although he rarely graced us with his presence at the shop (he was always in the warehouse office), he made it known that HE was the man of the house. Yes, he's got the power and money, but his taste in women? NIL. OK, so they had plastic tits and faces, and they could at LEAST count to 10, but can't they have brains AND beauty?
GodsGift: This is the pretentious, sexually frustrated asshole that also happens to be one of SBMs right-hand-men at the warehouse. He's still a jerk and it gets worse when he gets drunk, which I might add is not only weekly, but sometimes daily.
SM: The wonderfully humorous "Sarcastic Mexican". I'm sure that CBL would probably call him "Sarcastic Bean", and so would he, but I just can't bring myself to do it. He's the other right-hand-man to SBM. Although we didn't talk much (at least to one another), he's great at bashing GodsGift. High 5 for that!
Fancypants: This flamboyantly gay man sells the greatest women's clothing on Melrose Ave. Not only that, but he wears it, too... 'specially when strutting to Madonna blasting on his flashing boombox.
SBP: "Starbucks Psychobilly". This is the super hot guy that came into our shop repeatedly and flirted with me while we talked about psychobilly shows in the area. I nearly threw up when he brought in his cousin, who said "Yeah, I'm thinking about a tattoo, but he's gotta wait until he turns 18". Sheesh. At least I got free coffee.
Propmaster: This is the crazy dreadlocked white boy that wears 6" moonboots and a kilt while working on movie and television production as a propmaster. The man is insane, and an awesome guy, too.
UHTG: "Uber-Hot Tattooed Guy" is one of Propmaster's good friends. We've never met in person, nor spoken on the phone, but we've had some hysterical convo online. Awesome dude. Probably a good thing we never met in person!
FE: "Former Employee" of the shop that randomly contacted me via MySpace one day. It was a complete coincidence... I didn't know him, he didn't know me, and neither of us knew where the other worked/had worked. Who knows WHAT he was looking for, seeing his GF online, I'm sure it was NOT me.
WOWG: "World of Warcraft Girl". This was my female roommate in Hollywood. The reason I call her this? Although she offered to "use the computer anytime", I got home after she did each evening, and even when I'd stay up until 3am, she'd STILL be online from before I got home, playing that damned game.
WOWB: "World of Warcraft Boy". This was WOWGs live-in boyfriend. They had met online and decided to move to California from New York and Michigan? What were they thinking? I guess they complete one another, because when SHE isn't online playing that asinine game, he was.
"Home" Cast:
Hubby: The ever-loving husband that daily puts up with not only my shit, but the kids' and everyone else in the world. He has a bit of social anxiety, and an anger management problem, but in the end, it can be looked past because of all the good things he brings to the world. Hubby has also worked with me at many of the jobs that we've worked. He refused to go to Hollywood though, so I missed him greatly and is the reason I came home.
Cryptkeeper: This is my former employee now-turned boss. I left for three months, and he opened his own shop. Now I'm working for him. He has a fondness for dead things, cemetaries, and horror toys.
Ghosthunter: Cryptkeeper's new wife. They are VERY newly-wed, and she has a fondness for very similar things. She also enjoys hanging out in cemetaries and haunted places looking for ghostly spirits.
PPQ: "Pregnant Prom Queen". No, she's not pregnant now, nor is she in high school, but this is Cryptkeeper's Ex. She's not that prissy prom queen type, she's more of that stupid-cheerleader-who-faked-pregnancy-to-get-her-man type. She LATER got pregnant... then cheated on Cryptkeeper with SEVERAL different men. Including at least one of his friends.
TheKid: The shop's newest addition. He's "sort of" an apprentice, but he had an apprenticeship prior to his coming to us. We may have to break him of some bad habits. I wonder if rolled up newspaper works with him?
Chef: Our friend, the 5-star chef, who happens to LOVE making us dinner. Damn, I need to wash his dishes more often. He makes me want to make him our houseboy so he can make me sinfully delicious food everyday.
Hitler: Hitler would be our "pet name" for my "loving" mother. She strives to make everyone's life around her MISERABLE so that hers feels better. What more does she want? We pay all of her bills, moved in with her to take care of her sorry ass, and try to NEVER set foot in her path (for fear of being turned to stone or taken away on a train). What have we done to deserve this. I might add, thankfully, I'm adopted.
ICHU: Our eldest son. He's 14. The initials stand for "I Can't Hear You". He has VERY selective hearing and will NOT hear rules or instructions. His excuse for everything? Either "I didn't know" or "I couldn't hear you".
Filmstrip: Our middle son. He's 12. He's also one hell of a film buff. He knows everything about every movie. He holds conversations with Gunslinger that no one else can even comprehend. He knows producers, years of film releases and re-releases, names of remakes, movie stars, stand-ins, extras, special effects, and more. I don't know where he learned it all, but he's even got his own IMDB page with his friend. They even make mini horror movies that are online already. I guess if I had to punish him for something, I'd have to take away his video camera and DVD collection.
Whiny: Our youngest son. He's 10. EVERY request is rebutted with a whine. Even if you ask him where he wants to go for dinner, instead of his answer being his favorite restaurant, it's a whine about where he DOESN'T want to go. Want some cheese with that?
Look@Me!: This is CryptKeeper and PPQ's daughter. Technically, since PPQ has pretty much been out of the picture (such a slacker), she should be considered CryptKeeper and GhostHunter's kiddo. Her name (obviously) comes from the fact that with every little thing she does, comes the remark "LOOK AT ME!!!"
Silence: This little boy is cute and sweet, but eerie. Also CryptKeeper and PPQ's child, I've seen nothing but quiet charm from him, but from what I've overheard with former preschool calling nearly everyday, and CryptKeeper having to run and get him, he's apparently pretty destructive. He should become a pro wrestler.
So ends my cast of characters for the time being... I'm certain, as I stated above, that there will be many more to come... but these are the "few" that I deal with daily in my ridiculous world.
posted by Apparently Crazy at 11:09 PM
2 Comments:
I'm so fucking TOUCHED! CBL! I fucking love it!
Remind me to send you the pics from the Hollywood Film Festival Awards thingie I went to the other night...talk about smashed! Whew! Not pretty!
P.S. Shyboy gave his two-week notice on Monday. I might cut his nuts off.
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