Bitchin' Camaro
Driving to work this afternoon, we made a stop and I sat in the car while Hubby went and got what he was after.
While sitting in the new car (a '95 Camaro that hubby did some trading for - I believe he has about $60 into the car), a large truck with some hillbilly dude and his wife pulled up next to us. Immediately, he shot me a look of agreement and grinned, somewhat goofy. I didn't think anything about it until he went into the store, shaking his head in time to the music I was listening to. Sadly, I had been listening to a station that plays whatever the fuck it wants (an no requests) and the song was "You Can Leave Your Hat On" by Joe Cocker.
OK, I get it now... he likes stuff from the 70's and I'm the dork that reminded him of that. I admit, I like the song, but it's better with Tom Jones' version.
Anyway, I tune out again and stare off into space while hillbilly guy comes back out. He throws up some devil horns and turns to his wife, telling her (this time highly audible) something about reliving the 80's in my "bitchin' Camaro".
Holy crap. I'm sitting in a parking lot, rockin' out to (of all things) Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell" while dressed in a rock tee shirt and ripped jeans... in my bitchin' Camaro. Awww, fuck. I'm washed up, I'm a throwback to another time. I quickly try to change channels. The next preset is Stevie Ray Vaughn. The next preset has Madonna. And the final preset has some freaking new rock band playing some 80's reject remake. Obviously flustered, I keep switching channels as my face turns BEET red.
Hillbilly dude just laughs and shakes his head while driving off.
Goddamn it. I am now the 80's reject... again, sitting in my bitchin' Camaro. I end up turning to some other channel that I've never heard and listening to commercials until Hubby comes back. I explain to him the situation that just went down and he had to nod and agree.
We're getting old. Driving in our bitchin' Camaro.
Anyway, we get to work this morning, somewhat late (per usual), and Ghosthunter is sitting at the reception computer, which is amazingly online.
Both Cryptkeeper and Ghosthunter are fairly computer illiterate (and that's just surfing the web). During the time that I was off because I was ill, the DSL equipment came in. Thankfully, so did a full color chart that pretty much read "the yellow cable goes into the yellow slot and connects to your computer in the only jack that it will fit into". Seeing as it's CAT5 cable, I guess Cryptkeeper couldn't cram it into the phone jacks.
Amazingly, even with FOUR wires to do this with (all color coded and idiot-proof), he put it together and got online. I'm AMAZED.
He called yesterday morning wondering when I was coming back to work. I figured right then it was because he couldn't get that damned thing hooked up.
Maybe I was wrong about him for once. Or maybe he had his chimpanzee friend, we'll call him Chimp... it's pretty fitting, about the same brain power and vocabulary, hook it up for him without anyone knowing about it. That's sincerely more likely the story.
Anyway, Ghosthunter starts telling us a story "about a girl that used to work at a local shop that used to be her roommate that now hates life and hates everyone and wants to kill everyone from other shops especially her and Cryptkeeper's shop because the girl from the other shop thinks that someone called her little girl retarded when she was a baby and the whole fucking world needs to pay and she's gonna start shit and talk shit and throw shit" Blah, blah, blah... I tuned out her run-on sentence at this point (I don't think she took a breath for a full half-hour) that mentioned about probably a dozen people that I don't even know.
During her huge spiel, Hubby had left to go get lunch. She didn't even notice, either. He walked back in some 25 minutes later with lunch and she was shocked that he came in the door. "I thought you were standing behind me?". Holy crap... at least SOMEONE was enthralled with her story. HER.
Had a few interesting folks come in for jewelry and piercings, too... one of which was pierced at a convention by a local "piercer" who ended up piercing her navel while she was SITTING UP. This girl, on top of that fact, is somewhat overweight and her placement should have been FAR higher than what it was. I'm shocked it's even attempting to heal, too... as you cannot see the upper ball when she STANDS UP. It's THAT far back and low inside her navel. I didn't know what to think.
Although I advised her to take it out and heal it back and then get repierced, she was certain that she could heal it with some soaks (even though the piercing cannot get any oxygen to it to heal it). I sold her a new piece of jewelry for it and sent her on her way with the warning about the piercing. I should add that the warning went right in one ear and flowed out the other, as she said her goodbye's and made sure we knew she'd be back to have three more piercings surrounding her navel done.
Great. I can explain everything I just said all over again... and then tell her that the side navel piercings will never heal with her body stucture and lack of oxygen. It's those customers I just have to shake my head at... no matter what you say to them, THEY must be correct because it's their body. And if I do not do the piercing, they will go back to the other "piercer" and have three more of the same problem.
Cryptkeeper was doing some tattooing on another customer while all of this had been going on and his customer mentioned that he was going to see a band at a bar tonight. Just happens that Cryptkeeper JUST joined this band and would be playing and mentioned it to the customer (who we'll call "Duh" for now). Customer goes on about how awesome the band is and how his friend "Joe Schmoe" just joined the band as their guitarist. That's funny... Cryptkeeper just told him that HE is the new guitarist, not "Joe Schmoe" from another local band. And how his friend, Chimp, is the new drummer.
"Duh" continues to tell him how his friend is great and they're gonna see him tonight. Cryptkeeper keeps going on the tattoo, hurrying to finish since this dumbass just won't get it through his thick, hillbilly skull that his friend didn't make the cut, and that the band he originally was with (and still is with) is playing across town at the same time that they'll be onstage.
Anyway, tattoo ends right when someone walks in the door. Apparently it's the ride for Duh. Funny enough, it's his friend, "Joe Schmoe", who not only is NOT the new guitarist for the band, but isn't the guitarist for the other band that was mentioned (nor is he Joe Schmoe... because the whole shop knows him). Duh and Joe Schmoe, the imposter start talking about the badass tattoo and Imposter Joe says, "all right... know where we're going? We're going to NEW BAND's place" because they're SUCH namedroppers.
*NEW BAND was included instead of the band's name due to the privacy of those mentioned in this blog*
The show is currently going on without a hitch... and without Imposter Joe, or the original Joe Schmoe, and WITH Cryptkeeper.
Funny, but when Ghosthunter called a little while ago, she didn't mention anything about "Duh" showing up, either. Heh.
When will the stupidity end?
While sitting in the new car (a '95 Camaro that hubby did some trading for - I believe he has about $60 into the car), a large truck with some hillbilly dude and his wife pulled up next to us. Immediately, he shot me a look of agreement and grinned, somewhat goofy. I didn't think anything about it until he went into the store, shaking his head in time to the music I was listening to. Sadly, I had been listening to a station that plays whatever the fuck it wants (an no requests) and the song was "You Can Leave Your Hat On" by Joe Cocker.
OK, I get it now... he likes stuff from the 70's and I'm the dork that reminded him of that. I admit, I like the song, but it's better with Tom Jones' version.
Anyway, I tune out again and stare off into space while hillbilly guy comes back out. He throws up some devil horns and turns to his wife, telling her (this time highly audible) something about reliving the 80's in my "bitchin' Camaro".
Holy crap. I'm sitting in a parking lot, rockin' out to (of all things) Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell" while dressed in a rock tee shirt and ripped jeans... in my bitchin' Camaro. Awww, fuck. I'm washed up, I'm a throwback to another time. I quickly try to change channels. The next preset is Stevie Ray Vaughn. The next preset has Madonna. And the final preset has some freaking new rock band playing some 80's reject remake. Obviously flustered, I keep switching channels as my face turns BEET red.
Hillbilly dude just laughs and shakes his head while driving off.
Goddamn it. I am now the 80's reject... again, sitting in my bitchin' Camaro. I end up turning to some other channel that I've never heard and listening to commercials until Hubby comes back. I explain to him the situation that just went down and he had to nod and agree.
We're getting old. Driving in our bitchin' Camaro.
Anyway, we get to work this morning, somewhat late (per usual), and Ghosthunter is sitting at the reception computer, which is amazingly online.
Both Cryptkeeper and Ghosthunter are fairly computer illiterate (and that's just surfing the web). During the time that I was off because I was ill, the DSL equipment came in. Thankfully, so did a full color chart that pretty much read "the yellow cable goes into the yellow slot and connects to your computer in the only jack that it will fit into". Seeing as it's CAT5 cable, I guess Cryptkeeper couldn't cram it into the phone jacks.
Amazingly, even with FOUR wires to do this with (all color coded and idiot-proof), he put it together and got online. I'm AMAZED.
He called yesterday morning wondering when I was coming back to work. I figured right then it was because he couldn't get that damned thing hooked up.
Maybe I was wrong about him for once. Or maybe he had his chimpanzee friend, we'll call him Chimp... it's pretty fitting, about the same brain power and vocabulary, hook it up for him without anyone knowing about it. That's sincerely more likely the story.
Anyway, Ghosthunter starts telling us a story "about a girl that used to work at a local shop that used to be her roommate that now hates life and hates everyone and wants to kill everyone from other shops especially her and Cryptkeeper's shop because the girl from the other shop thinks that someone called her little girl retarded when she was a baby and the whole fucking world needs to pay and she's gonna start shit and talk shit and throw shit" Blah, blah, blah... I tuned out her run-on sentence at this point (I don't think she took a breath for a full half-hour) that mentioned about probably a dozen people that I don't even know.
During her huge spiel, Hubby had left to go get lunch. She didn't even notice, either. He walked back in some 25 minutes later with lunch and she was shocked that he came in the door. "I thought you were standing behind me?". Holy crap... at least SOMEONE was enthralled with her story. HER.
Had a few interesting folks come in for jewelry and piercings, too... one of which was pierced at a convention by a local "piercer" who ended up piercing her navel while she was SITTING UP. This girl, on top of that fact, is somewhat overweight and her placement should have been FAR higher than what it was. I'm shocked it's even attempting to heal, too... as you cannot see the upper ball when she STANDS UP. It's THAT far back and low inside her navel. I didn't know what to think.
Although I advised her to take it out and heal it back and then get repierced, she was certain that she could heal it with some soaks (even though the piercing cannot get any oxygen to it to heal it). I sold her a new piece of jewelry for it and sent her on her way with the warning about the piercing. I should add that the warning went right in one ear and flowed out the other, as she said her goodbye's and made sure we knew she'd be back to have three more piercings surrounding her navel done.
Great. I can explain everything I just said all over again... and then tell her that the side navel piercings will never heal with her body stucture and lack of oxygen. It's those customers I just have to shake my head at... no matter what you say to them, THEY must be correct because it's their body. And if I do not do the piercing, they will go back to the other "piercer" and have three more of the same problem.
Cryptkeeper was doing some tattooing on another customer while all of this had been going on and his customer mentioned that he was going to see a band at a bar tonight. Just happens that Cryptkeeper JUST joined this band and would be playing and mentioned it to the customer (who we'll call "Duh" for now). Customer goes on about how awesome the band is and how his friend "Joe Schmoe" just joined the band as their guitarist. That's funny... Cryptkeeper just told him that HE is the new guitarist, not "Joe Schmoe" from another local band. And how his friend, Chimp, is the new drummer.
"Duh" continues to tell him how his friend is great and they're gonna see him tonight. Cryptkeeper keeps going on the tattoo, hurrying to finish since this dumbass just won't get it through his thick, hillbilly skull that his friend didn't make the cut, and that the band he originally was with (and still is with) is playing across town at the same time that they'll be onstage.
Anyway, tattoo ends right when someone walks in the door. Apparently it's the ride for Duh. Funny enough, it's his friend, "Joe Schmoe", who not only is NOT the new guitarist for the band, but isn't the guitarist for the other band that was mentioned (nor is he Joe Schmoe... because the whole shop knows him). Duh and Joe Schmoe, the imposter start talking about the badass tattoo and Imposter Joe says, "all right... know where we're going? We're going to NEW BAND's place" because they're SUCH namedroppers.
*NEW BAND was included instead of the band's name due to the privacy of those mentioned in this blog*
The show is currently going on without a hitch... and without Imposter Joe, or the original Joe Schmoe, and WITH Cryptkeeper.
Funny, but when Ghosthunter called a little while ago, she didn't mention anything about "Duh" showing up, either. Heh.
When will the stupidity end?
posted by Apparently Crazy at 9:13 PM
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